Building Eternal Life for Women: Mirrors, Silk, and Procreation

I was searching around for fanciful and humorous titles for the description of spiritual hindrances on the female side, but I fell flat. So, the categories are not as mental sticky, but equally applicable. Now, I am a man, and this will be from my perspective, so please take no offense if I "cross the line" into derogatory territory.

Our focus is upon the areas inside, parts of our being that remain broken and flawed, even as we proceed along the path of spiritual growth. Keep in mind that each individual has their own responsibility to yield over these broken pieces to God. We are not here to stand in judgment of one another. Use your discernment, and speak in love to one another, but do not judge. Give eternal life to each other, assist in the transformation of those broken pieces. Be kind and forgiving, and your own walk will quicken.

Now the designation "Mirrors" may seem obvious to everyone, especially considering modern societies obsession with appearance, but I have thrown a twist in there. I don't mean what you look like, but how you observe yourself. There are two paths along this line of reasoning. One, you are perpetually critical of your appearance, and the other an obsession with 'checking' how good you look. They seem the same, and have a common root spiritually, but manifest in separate ways.

The perpetually critical person will never reach satisfaction, and hence never find peace, because they have set themselves up as the judge of appearance. They have decided, based upon societal structures and internal quirks what is a perfect visage. This is a obviously unreachable goal (there is no perfect image apart from Christ anyhow), and is a direct violation of God's desire for us to enjoy eternal life. You CAN NOT get more eternal life if you are sitting on the seat of judgment in your own heart. It will not happen.

This is not in any way contradictory to looking good. We should all be presentable, and pleasing in our appearance. Most of that is subjective, and a truly pleasing appearance comes from inside, but there is a place for nice hair, makeup, good clothes and the like. However, test yourself in this way. Put on some plain worn out clothes. Wear no makeup. Do your hair up simple. And go worship God with your brothers and sisters. I challenge you. The persons who are hindered spiritually in this area will find it very hard to be 'themselves' without the artificial crutches of outward appearance. If you find this is you, get on your knees in a deep and desperate way, because you have serious work to do.

Don't think we have left out the other side... Oh no, if you never dress up, or prepare yourself to look nice, you are possibly doing the same thing! You are hiding your heart, and perhaps judging all those around you at the same time! Try it, dress up, be thoughtful about a few details of your appearance. If you suddenly become self conscious, and are unable to worship God comfortably, you are in trouble as well! The appearance of the saints before God is spiritual, and stems from the condition of our hearts. If we are unable to walk in faith without some physical connection, such as clothes or makeup, we are not 'in faith' but have created our own place, our own world of order based upon the precepts of man, and it is polluting our spiritual life.

Don't take this area of mirrors lightly. It is a hidden, internal flaw that society continuously reinforces. Even when you get right in your heart, when you find freedom, the world will be there mocking and tempting. Fashion moves on, yet is always the same. It is a subjective, fickle beast ready to gnaw at your heart. We should look good, but that starts with a clean heart, and a King that sits on the throne of that heart. It does not mean walking the catwalk, or conversely, hidding in a corner.

Your conscience will be sensing the Spirit of God, leading you in this matter. If you can not sense it, get down low and call out with every fiber of your being. It is that important, because if the world has you in this hidden manner, you will not be able to experience the true peace of God. And that is a very bad state for a Christian to live in. Even many 'normal' Christians can not see this because it is internal, and will seem trivialized in importance. So finding help can be hard, it MUST come from faith. Believe God will lead you, and free you from this pit of self image. He is faithful.

So, for the next section, Silk, you may think it has to do with clothing, but not so fast. Yes, I used the concept of cloth, and that for fine clothes, but what I mean is the selection of that cloth. Ah, you get it now, shopping! Well, specifically the act of shopping as a proxy for the decisions that women make. Or, if you are quite intimate with the female species, the lack of decision.

Yes, it seems daily that I am frustrated by the gorgeous beings that populate my house (all girls so far). Why can't they just choose something and stick with it? A man makes a decision, and then does it. Women seem to be far more interested in the state of choosing than the end result, no matter what it is! Exasperating indeed. But this is a normal balance in most regards, and perfectly healthy. It has a dark side though, and that is where we must go.

The purpose inside of a woman is different from a man. The desire is for security, stability, provision. Constantly being able to evaluate the choices around is a protection against threats to life itself. At the core of a woman, these prevail. God is there, and aligning these desires with His will is the essence of spiritual growth. He is the source of our eternal security. He provides the true stability, the solid rock inside that will not be moved no matter how bad the storm. He is the supply of our eternal life, the food that will keep us forever before Him, praising and worshipping the King.

So how does this category, Silk, i.e. the shopping principal, relate to some hindrance inside of a woman? It is simple, yet spiritual, so allow the Spirit of God to highlight in the example I will give. Let us consider this common situation in a marriage. The man has become bored. Tired of the same job, unstimulated with life, going through the motions. We all get like this at times, to one degree or another. The Christian man will be prompted by God to turn and find life. But if there is resentment... even the faithful can live for a long time in a bad way.

What does the woman see? She senses uncertainty and insecurity. It can be conscious or unconscious, it will still impact inside. And what is the natural response for a woman? It is to raise this issue up, to make it something noticeable to the man. If he doesn't respond by reinforcing security, increasing stability, by being a provider, it just gets worse for the woman. And guess what, most men are flawed, and selfish, and absorbed by their own insecurity. Being confronted with that... it's a affront to our very manhood! We turn away, doing exactly the wrong thing.

Now, of course the Godly man will snap out of these situations by the prompting of the Spirit. And even if he naturally bridles at being exposed, he will get over it with God. But we are concerned with the woman here, and recognizing how these outward actions are not in line with God's purpose, and will hinder spiritual growth.

The woman in the picture is doing exactly this: shopping for a new man. Now that sounds silly, because most people in a marriage aren't there to swap around. Even with the divorces and infidelity of modern society, most people want to be together on some level, or they would just split. Some level of commitment has been made, and I don't mean that all wives are out actively looking for a new spouse. What I mean is that they a always shopping for one. Even though they have one, they want a better one. Even worse, that 'better one' is usually a pie in the sky creation of a flawed imagination. Not actively, again, but a construct of the imagination all the same, as even the 'perfect' husband is just as inherently flawed as the next man.

By all means, the more of Christ that is in your spouse, the more of the 'perfect' husband you are living with. But we are for the most part spiritual children, and don't display the fullness of Him all day, every day. This raises the core issue. The "Shopping" mentality in treating your spouse is not God's purpose. It is you projecting your desire of what is correct or incorrect about your spouses life. It is external judgment. It is you on the throne, and not God.

What happens when you give this over to the Lord? What happens when you vacate the throne of your heart and let Him have a seat in this matter? There is a deep transformation inside. Your shopping, that looking for satisfaction deep within, becomes a active search for life. You will be looking for Christ in your man. You will be drawing eternal life out of him, spurring him to greatness. The situation may be the same, but the word you speak will be full of fire and life. Even if your husband reacts in the natural, spurns you and turns away to his own selfishness, you won't experience resentment yourself. And you won't feel even more insecure, as the word you speak will be one of life itself. You will find freedom and release in this act of faith, in speaking in faith this way.

Go ahead, try it. Get with the King on your own, in that quiet place in your heart. Ask Him to speak for you, lay your concerns and desires at His feet. Tell God that you trust that the words you will speak to your spouse will be words of life. Then act on that faith. It is not about being silent, you still need to speak, just speak in faith. Oh, you may slip up. We develop patterns of critical behavior so easily. And your man will most likely react just as always, but do it in faith, and God will be there.

This shopping mentality applies in many other ways to how women walk in faith. In fact it is universal to the heart of a woman. A simple way to perceive this in your own life is to actually go shopping. Pick something you do need, like a pair of socks or pencils, perhaps new tires for the car. Watch yourself, time how long it takes to finally pick, see how many times you weigh options, how many times you are close to deciding, then reconsider. If you begin to sense that state of indecision, turn to the Lord. That sense needs to be trained to seek eternal life. You can transform that desire to one of always finding life. And if you are full of life, you will be suplying those around you, which brings you very close to God's heart.

Now don't get me wrong, it is no big deal to not know which pair of socks you really want. But think about it. Why don't you know which pair? Do the socks make you better one way or another? If you get the wrong ones, will you become depressed? How will you know if you go the perfect pair? Will someone come up to you and say "Amazing socks, those look so nice on you!" Even if someone noticed your socks in that way, would you believe them? And if you did believe them, would that make you feel good about yourself, for yourself? No, buy the socks in faith even. Spend two hours searching for the heart of God about which pair of socks to buy. Seriously, this will be profitable, beyond any other time you would spend shopping. It sounds silly, but this is so big in terms of growing up spiritually, don't conveniently discount it and remain stunted.

Finally we get to the reproductive region. There is a great verse, in that the woman will be saved through childbirth. But don't take that to mean physically, no, turn this into spiritual work. You can be perfectly celebate, single, happy and satisfied serving God and bringing forth the children of God. Nurturing them, feeding them, teaching them. I can't count the innumerable times that it was a sister in the Lord who identified some simple spiritual need, in myself or others, and was right there with a measure of life.

Some say that the closesest thing to God's love for us is a mothers love. But that is way off. Way, way off. Oh, there may be a deep connection to that which came from your own body. But God has a life so far beyond the physical, there is no comparison. I have seen childbirth, the endorphin high, and the comedown. I have seen many a first time mom go through phases with the newborn. Even feelings of loathing are common, "Get this thing away from me..." Shocking? No, it is completely normal. No one can live up to all the 'needs' of a newborn. There is a quick dying to the self with a new baby, and all the emotional pain and stress along with it. God is our source in those times, with a love much more complete.

Even so, women have a unique opportunity to take what is natural, what is instinctively nurturing and empathetic, and let God transform that in the Spirit. You can work in the Body of Christ in a deep and purposeful way with that transformed awareness and love. It is in each one, there is no requirement to be married and have children before growing up in the Spirit. In fact, pairing up, dating, searching for Mr. Right can be a huge stumbling block to spiritual growth. But that falls under the Silk category I would presume. The natural desire for procreation will motivate finding a mate, but finding a physical mate is not the primary focus of spiritual growth.

Oh, I know, there is a faction of Christians who are religious about promoting everyone up to 'family' status. And others who see single, nubile sisters as a threat to the congregation. Yes, in this society, with no emphasis on self control and personal purity, there is cause for concern. And hormones are powerful drugs, very strong. What to do? Recognize that it will drive you. Know that deep in you core being you are one step away from doing anything to find that security and stability, the place of procreation. You want that nest, and it is natural to go way past what you know is correct to get it.

I can't even imagine living in a abusive relationship. Yet so many do. They have accepted a intolerable life to satisfy that unsatiable need. It can happen to anyone, and that I do understand. It doesn't stop at abuse either. Once broken, once finding the fleeting relief from that desire that comes with the physical act of procreation, so many go down the path of 'this broken relationship' to 'that one night stand'. Accumulating a long string of pain, and not ever truly finding the answer to that deep, deep force.

I know you can see it in yourself. It is there always, yet by finding the Lord, a transformation begins. Each time you give that need, that desire over to Him, he is able to change it, transform it into something beautiful You will desire the Kingdom of God. You will find the true nest, the ideal spot for creating new life. And along with that, you will see the outward realm change. Your life will reflect your true existence in the Spirit. If you have discovered the new life that hoppens in the presence of God, everything else begins to change.

If you are single, frustrated, and looking, lay it down at God's altar. Get out of the way, force yourself to give up the search yourself. Desperately call out to Him for enough eternal life to satisfy that need. He will amaze you. Besides, if you are looking for a mate, you will pick someone according to what you feel, not according to true compatibility. Only God knows the type of person that will make a good life bond for you. Don't turn to a dating service, turn to God. Really give it up! Many say that they have put it in God's hands, yet go on dating as usual, with the usual result.

If you are married, and know the natural course of motherhood, even if your only child is your husband, let God use that and transform it into faith functional spirituality. Remember, we are here, experiencing life in the now, but His family is forever. Your life here will end. Let God make you into His house. Then your marriage, your children, your spouse, everything in your life will begin to reflect the eternal reality. This will lead to serious growth in the spirit. And satisfaction beyond what you could imagine.

My exhortation to all women is then simple. Let God open your eyes to these areas that stop spiritual growth. Let Him be your mirror. Don't look at yourself with your own eyes, with your own flawed scale. Look at Him, and he will show you what you need to see about yourself, what He can change. Give Him that much respect at a minimum. Trust in faith that the King knows what you should look like, and will make you appear. If you dwell in self judgment, you don't believe God's word, and can not act in faith.

Turn your shopping mentality into a search for life! Forget indecision, waffling around looking for the right way. You know the right way! He is the way, and can take that natural need to control, to be secure, to maintain provisions and turn it into a fountain of life. A continuous source of security. Even a source of life for all. How amazing is that!

Finally, don't let your own flawed nature, and the broken society around you poison the desire to procreate. It is there to fulfill God's plan, to make us succeed and fill the earth. You are not flawed because of that desire, it is the emotion, the decisions, the thinking about how to fulfill that need that are broken. Give that to our Eternal Counselor. Let Him transform your very soul, and conform that desire into His wonderful plan for increasing the family of Christ. You will not find any satisfaction higher than that.

Lord, may the words of my heart be useful to you, and the thoughts which I have written here. Use them, cover over what is tarnished, and show your gold. May your Spirit fill each reader in a deep way, and give them Grace to follow in faith.